Beating the Drum for Imperial Tobacco

By Simon On January 22, 2011 · 2 Comments

Dear Reader

As a smoker of several years, it seemed at the time of writing that a) it might be a good time to give up the habit and b) this letter was long overdue. I received an interesting reply which will be posted in due course, so please come back soon once you’ve read this (only if you can be bothered of course – there’s no pressure.)

Simon

GUEST EDITOR

____________

10th March 2010

Pierre Jungels
Chairman of the Remuneration Committee
Imperial Tobacco Group PLC
PO Box 244
Upton Road
Bristol BS99 7UJ

Dear Mr Jungels

As Chairman of the Remuneration Committee for Imperial Tobacco Group PLC, I trust you can help me.

I have been smoking one of your ‘Key Brands’ of rolling tobacco for 10 years (I’m not sure if I can mention the name for legal reasons – however, it is sold in a dark blue packet and is named after a kit of instruments one might find in a rock band).

I have always been satisfied by the rich smooth flavour of this tobacco and in general, the quality of the product has been, shall we say, smokin’!

However, I have always had cause for complaint with the final 0.5g of tobacco in each pouch, due to what can only be described as the inclusion of a collection of ‘Barky Twigs’ – these are, as you can imagine, unsmokeable. Therefore, I have roughly worked out the weight of tobacco I have paid money for, but have had to throw away unsmoked during this 10 year period:

Amount of Paid For and Unsmokeable ‘Barky Twigs’ Discarded in 10 Years

12.5g Packets Purchased (at 5 per week) = 2600
‘Barky Twigs’ Product Discarded (2600 x 0.5g) = 1300g (1.3kg)

Bearing in mind the changes in the cost of tobacco to the consumer in the past 10 years, it is fair to say that we could assume the average price of 12.5g of the aforementioned tobacco being set at £2.50. This would make each gram cost 20p.

Therefore, I feel it is only right that Imperial Tobacco Group PLC remunerates me for my financial loss, as set out below:

Renumeration for Paid for, Discarded and Unsmokeable ‘Barky Twigs’ Due to Mr Simon Sharpe, BA Hons From Imperial Tobacco Group PLC

(1300g x 20p) = £260

I look forward to your speedy settlement of the above amount, before even more of my money goes up in smoke.

Yours sincerely

Simon Sharpe

2 Responses to Beating the Drum for Imperial Tobacco

beef says:

January 25, 2011 at 12:47 pm

I look forward to seeing the reply you received. I have just been in to my local supermarket to purchase one of the gold aforementioned tobacco products, only to find they have recalled all the 25gram pouches.
I wonder if your letter has had something to do with this/

Reply
stacey davies says:

August 5, 2011 at 11:52 pm

I was just about to leave a complaint due to the ‘BARKY TWIGS’ that my husband keeps finding in all his pouches of tobacco. I am saddened to see that although a complaint has been sent by simon in January, ( now august) that there has not been a reply. All i can see is that imperial tabacco makes so much money from people like us and many more people out there that they don’t care about the minority of us that are finding problems with their products. I hope that imperial tobacco see this post on here and will e mail me with a response or even reply on here for everyone too see, as this problem will not go away until rectified.
I hope everyone who has had a problem with their tobacco writes on here to make them aware of the situation.
stacey

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